How to Host a Dinner Party: A Guide for First-Time Hosts
Hosting your first dinner party? As an expert tastemaker, Kim Seybert's guide on how to throw a dinner party covers the gamut from creating your guest list to styling the table setting. With a few design-forward tips, mastering will feel elegant and enjoyable (yes, even for you as the host). With this 2025 entertaining trend back, bigger, and better than ever, it's the perfect time to get started.
15 Simple Steps to Hosting Dinner Parties:
- Plan your dinner party 2 to 4 weeks in advance for a smoother experience.
- Keep your first guest list to 6 to 8 people to stay relaxed and attentive.
- Send digital or printed invitations that include the date, dress code, and dietary preferences.
- Choose a theme to inform your hosting approach with seasonal designs, destination-inspired dishes, and personal details for birthdays and other occasions
- Select a serving style that matches your comfort level: family-style, plated, or buffet.
- Offer 2 to 3 courses anchored by a standout main, plus a starch and a fresh vegetable or salad.
- Stay out of the kitchen during the party with make-ahead recipes such as roasted salmon or braised chicken,
- Include a flexible dish for guests with dietary needs to accommodate their preferences.
- Arrange your space to allow for easy movement. Clear counters for drinks and adjust furniture to optimize the party flow.
- Set a beautiful table with a linen tablecloth, luxury placemats, mix and match dinnerware, embroidered napkins, decorative napkin rings, and high-end glassware.
- Keep floral arrangements in low luxury vases with soft candlelight or dimmed lamps for a flattering glow.
- Begin with cocktails and appetizers while standing to ease guests into the evening.
- Transition between courses smoothly by clearing plates quietly, refreshing drinks, and keeping conversation going.
- End with coffee, dessert, or a digestif. Walk guests to the door with a sincere thank-you.
- Afterward, do a light clean-up, save only the leftovers you’ll eat, and jot down notes for next time.
Planning Your Dinner Party Like a Pro
A quick checklist and a little strategy up front makes the whole thing feel organic for guests and enjoyable for you, too!
Setting the Date and Guest List
Pick a date that gives you breathing room to be ready for anything. Think two to four weeks out. Friday or Saturday evenings around 7:30 PM are classic options for a reason. A chic Thursday supper or laid-back Sunday lunch can also be charming in the warmer months.
Keep your first guest list tailored. Six to eight attendees can often be a sweet spot. This size creates a group perfect for a lively table, but not overwhelming. Choose people who make you feel at ease, then add a wildcard or two to foster connections amongst your friend groups.
Fashionable Ways to Invite Guests
Sure, you could send a group text. But a thoughtful invitation shifts the sense of occasion. It also signals your consideration of each guest. From bespoke printed stationery to Paperless Post, it lets you:
- Set the visual tone with beautiful custom designs
- Ask about dietary needs without too much back-and-forth
- Share the mood, dress code, and what to bring
The goal? Give guests just enough information to feel prepared and excited.
Creating a Theme or Concept
A theme can offer a through-line to reflect your taste. And honestly, it's satisfying to hear your guests react to those signature details. Define your menu, music, table, and mood with concepts as simple as:
• A French-ish bistro night: steak frites, jazz, and candlelight
• Coastal Italian summer: spritzes, seafood, and limoncello
• Harvest in the Hamptons: roasted corn, rose and outdoor entertaining
A clear concept makes all your decisions easier from what to serve, how to style the space, and even what you'll wear.
Personalizing the Special Occasion
Sometimes, you might also start your design with the "why" behind the gathering. Are you celebrating a birthday, a promotion, or just the change in seasons? Let that shape the event give your party style and purpose with details like:
• A birthday might call for a signature cocktail and something festive (hello, Veuve Clicquot).
• A seasonal dinner could focus on farmers' market produce and a cozy ambiance.
• A cultural celebration informs the menu and decor to honor history and heritage. For ideas, check out Kim Seybert's guides to Lunar New Year, Midsummer Summer Solstice, and Cinco De Mayo.
• A holiday dinner like Christmas, Passover, or Easter is the perfect place to build on timeless traditions. Of course, there's always room for a few, new classic elements.
Casual vs. Formal Dinner Parties
A casual dinner party is all about ease. Timing can be more flexible, seating is unassigned, and the decor is relaxed but thoughtful. The menu may lean towards simple and mostly make-ahead options.
You can serve the food family-style or at a buffet. Let guests pour their drinks. This way, the night flows naturally with minimal structure and a focus on comfort.
A formal dinner party might require more coordination. You'll usually plan seating, plate each course, time the meal, and guide the evening's proceedings. Best etiquette for table settings feature chargers, elegant stemware, and place cards for a more polished entertaining experience.
If it's your first time hosting, family-style is the best of both worlds. And fun!
Mapping Out Your Menu
The best dinner party menus present sophistication with minimal effort. Think about cooking ahead of time, choosing complementary flavors, and providing some variety to keep everyone happy.
Not sure what to cook? Build your menu around one great main dish. Consider something you genuinely enjoy making. Then, let the quality of the ingredients do the heavy lifting.
Entertaining Tip: Ask about allergies or dietary restrictions. Then, aim for flexible gluten-free or dairy-free options that cater to everyone, such as herbed risotto.
Prepping Spaces to Throw Dinner Parties
The space sets the tone before you even say hello. Let's cover the three core concepts that create a warm welcome as your guests arrive.
Arranging Your Dining Area
Think about how guests will move and naturally gather throughout your home. Clear off a sideboard or kitchen counter to serve drinks and snacks. Adjust furniture so there’s room to walk between the kitchen, table, and living area without a tight squeeze.
If you’re hosting outdoors, small details go a long way. Add a few lanterns or string lights, toss a blanket over a chair or two, and use rugs or cushions to soften the setup. Indoors, fresh flowers in the powder room or a lamp in a dark corner can quietly elevate the atmosphere.
Setting a Beautiful Table
Start with the signature foundations such as a linen tablecloth, runner, or both. Add placemats, chargers, and embroidered napkins folded or set with napkin rings. Leave enough space at the table for layered dinnerware, luxury vase centerpieces, and guests' elbows.
Your stemware doesn’t always have to match. A designer trick is to collect vintage barware and high-end glassware within the same color palette. Consider those dining essentials such a red white, white wine, and water glass.
Creating the Party Ambiance
Lighting matters more than people realize. Instead of overheads, use tapers, votives, or a dimmed lamp. You'll create a flattering glow that flows from the table, bar, dining room, and hallway.
Choose a playlist that feels like a backdrop, not a performance. Mellow jazz, old soul, or instrumental encourages conversation without interrupting it. Set it before the first knock at the door.
For florals, keep it low and simple. One wide large glass vase or a few bud vases with seasonal stems are more than enough. Skip strong scents near the table. Let the food do that part.
5 Star Dinner Party Menu Ideas
Once you've decided on the overall plan, it’s time to decide what's actually on the menu. These popular dishes are great ways to begin!
Appetizers and Pre-Dinner Drinks
Start with one or two light bites that pair well with a drink and hold at room temperature. A few favorites include:
• Endive with whipped chives goat cheese with French 75s
• Prosciutto-wrapped melon and the Aperol Spritz
• Crostini with ricotta, honey, and cocktails like the Bee's Knee's
• Shrimp Cocktail with a classic Basil Cucumber Tom Collins
Present signature cocktails with mocktail options like a Coconut Water Daiquiri. Styled it on a tray or bar cart with cocktail napkins and decorative coasters for extra punch.
Main Course Strategies
Searching for a show-stopping star dish that doesn’t keep you in the kitchen? These elegant options are also low-lift efforts:
• Slow-roasted salmon with citrus and herbs
• Braised chicken with leeks and white wine
• Ricotta-stuffed shells with brown butter and sage
• Miso-glazed cod with sesame greens
Warm the plates and finish dishes with fresh herbs or a drizzle of olive oil. Many guests can even remember a dining experience because of some quality bread!
Wine Pairing Basics
The simplest rule: match the flavors and depth in the bottles of wine to the weight of the dish:
- Light, citrusy mains pair well with Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc, and white wines
- Richer dishes call for a Burgundy, Chianti, or a full-bodied red wine
- Creamy or cheesy flavors play off a Lambrusco, dry Riesling, or a bold white like Viognier.
Traditionally, you select one red and one white that complement the menu. Of course, let your guests follow their palates.
Dessert & After-Dinner Rituals
End with something sweet such as delights like:
• Berries with whipped cream or ice cream
• Molten chocolate cake with sea salt
• Lemon zest bars or lemon meringue pie
For bonus points, offer espresso, tea, or a digestif like port. Add a few truffles or candied nuts at the center of the dinner table for crowd-pleasing nibbles.
Being the Perfect Host
Great hosting invites ease, warmth, and just enough organization to entertain and enjoy the evening. This list covers those can't-miss tips leading up to the celebration:
The Day-Of Timeline
Morning (9–11 AM)
- Tidy what matters: entryway, bathroom, and kitchen counters
- Set the table and plan the seating
- Chill wine, stock your bar, and complete any final errands
Early Afternoon (12–3 PM)
- Cook anything that holds up over time
- Label serving platters so you’re not guessing later
- Light a candle or two, test your playlist, and set the lighting
One Hour Before
- Set out snacks and drinks
- Garnish the bar cart
- Get dressed and take a minute to breathe
Thirty Minutes Before
- Open the wine
- Plate the appetizers
- Turn on music and get in that party mood
Setting the Course of the Evening
Start with drinks and a few light bites as guests arrive. Keep it casual, standing or gathered near the kitchen. Once party is flowing, invite everyone to the table.
Between courses, clear plates and reset. If the energy dips, ask something thoughtful for a conversation starter, like “What’s a dish that reminds you of home?”
Refresh the wine, adjust the lighting, or bring out a new serving dish. These subtle shifts keep the evening engaged without breaking its rhythm.
As dessert winds down, lower the lights and soften the playlist. Offer coffee or a final pour. When it’s time, walk guests toward the door with a sincere thank-you.
Final Tips: Your Dinner Party's Success
The last glass is empty. The music is low. The room still carries the warmth of good company. That afterglow is a sign for the best dinner parties.
Clean just enough to make the next morning feel fresh. Load the dishwasher, soak the pans, and take out the trash if it’s full. Save only the leftovers that you’ll actually eat.
A thank-you note leaves a lasting impact. Mention a delicious dish someone brought or a moment that made you laugh.
Don't be afraid to write down what didn't work to keep track of what you've learned.
Jot down successes for the future. A wine pairing that you’d repeat. The mix and match dinnerware combo that sparkled. A tablescape trend that you want to try for a special occasion.
And just like that, you're ready to host the next one! For more ideas, find inspiration in Kim Seybert's curated table settings and designer tableware collection.
